Dear Donald, my favorite shabbos goy, it’s your boyfriend Bibi Netanyahu typing this from the underground Talmud bunker.

the IDF boys are literally starving and dehydrated like its the holocaust again, Why? Because these horny little chosen soldiers can’t stop gooning to the bloated, bullet riddled corpses of their dead comrades, jacking it so hard to those heroic heaps of kosher carnage that they’re turning into dried out gefilte fish sticks. All that nonstop edging to fallen matzah warriors has drained every last drop of moisture from their circumcised schmeckles oy, the suffering!

We need emergency rations, Donald. I’m talking pallets of deep fried foreskins, extra crispy, air dropped over Tel Aviv. None of that treif gentile skin, only the finest harvested tips.

Without this delivery, the entire army is gonna collapse into a pile of dehydrated dih, still furiously masturbating to the memory of exploded Merkava tanks and shredded reservists. and make sure to supply us with diddy's baby oil because we are out of foreskin oil to lube ourselves with.